Overcoming

So this has been a wonderful fully-loaded week! Transfer day was good, and we were able to work just on time. The day before transfers, I was able to work with Sister Clarin in our area. We had 10 lessons and 13 contacts that day. But more than that, I have learned more than what I expected in that day with her.

About my personal study of the Book of Mormon, I am learning so much. Sister Hamblin taught me a new way to study this inspired book. She told me that Elder Bednar told them once in his visit to their stake, that Elder Bednar keeps a bookshelf filled with inexpensive book of mormons that he has used. He studies 1 book of mormon in his quest to answer 1 question all throught out! Sister Hamblin is about to finish reading the book of mormon with a question “How to be truly converted to the Lord?”. And this week, I started reading the book of mormon again, with a question: “How to stop worrying?” and I ought to finish this before my mission ends.

I know my question is shallow, but I need to find answers seriously, because in the course of my 20-plus years I have managed to worry about almost everything.

I had misunderstood the Lord’s doctrine of “we are saved AFTER-ALL-WE-CAN-DO”.

I had been worried, terrified, and worried, and afraid, and worried because I had thought that I needed to achieve some minimum level of capacity and goodness before God will help me.

I have learned, just this cycle that divine aid can be ours every hour of every day, no matter where we are in the path of obedience.

And brother Cristofer who has just been baptized last saturday and confirmed in his priesthood attire yesterday is one of the evidences of that. Jenelyn who just received an answer to her prayers, is the evidence of that.

Last cycle, I thought He has already abandoned me. I felt far far away from him. Just now, I realized that I was just like the man in the poem “Footprints in the Sand”. I thought He has left me all alone. But the truth is, He was just carrying me all the way through. Because I needed to learn something, and I am weak, and I cannot do this alone.

I am learning so much in my mission. My heart is full. It’s going to burst. I love being a missionary!

Eye Single

This week has been good. We had 2 companion exchanges, 2 zone meetings we attended and taught. 1 interview with President and Sister Rahlf, and 1 sacrament talk – and we survived!!! The enabling power gave us strength to do beyond our own natural ability to accomplish things!

The exchange with Sister de Guzman made me want to pray-and-fast on the spot. I had never been so punted and rejected many times in my whole mission life than that day! It made me want to cry on the streets. Nevertheless, we were able to teach 8 lessons and had 25 contacts that day. If there’s a will, there’s a way.

I had exchanges with Sister de Veyra as well. I have to admit, I was terrified. Not that she’s terrifying but because I didn’t know to train someone who should be training me.

For all the terrifying-humbling experiences I had this week, I have learned how to truly have an eye single. (D&C 88:67). Sister Pat Holland, one my favorites, said that “the appreciation for our own worth has nothing to do with the applause of one’s neighbor and everything to do with having integrity before the Lord. We all need a higher image of ourselves, but Satan would have us believe it comes totally from the praise of others when in fact it comes from our relationship with God.”

I fervently pray that my eyes will be fixed, centered, riveted, and cemented to His glory, always and forever.

 “If your eye be single to my glory, your whole bodies shall be filled with light, and there shall be no darkness in you; and that body which is filled with light comprehendeth all things.”

Oh how I love this verse!

No more time to write. But, Christopher will be baptized!

Sister Elivera's CLS exam

For my departing companion.

First MLC

Hi. This is a picture taken after the first part of our MLC last wednesday. It has been a spiritual feast. It's a privilege for me to serve the sisters of two zones but at the same time the past weeks as a leader has been a painful examination of my soul. I had been really, really, really ... trying to overcome some of my weaknesses. Which I am really grateful to recognize some of them at this point of my life ...

Could you please pray for me? And I would be really very very happy to receive an advice from each of you.

My heart is crying.

So I had an eye check up last wednesday in Cauayan after our MLC because I had not been feeling really well for the past weeks (emotionally and physically because of my eyes) ...

The grade of my eyes has gone to 250 from 150.. One of the reasons why I got some head aches and couldn't work effectively the past weeks. I have new eyeglasses now. I used some of my personal money. Sorry.

I think I might spend some of it as well for my acne. My face has turned to .... no words could properly describe my face right now.. 

I love you.

I am back!

So just like what I have told you before, I was feeling really really homesick – not from my family in Mindanao, or from the Alinguigan ward – but from Heavenly Father’s presence. I had never felt wanting to see Him with Heavenly mother and get a hug from Them. For the past weeks, I was just so sad … I felt so far, far away. And what made it worse, is that I didn’t know why I felt that way.

President Kimball was right when he said that whenever he finds that he get “casual” in his relationships with divinity, it seems that no divine voice is speaking, he feels far, far away.

So I set goals

1. to pray, really pray and really talk WITH (not to) my loving Heavenly Father.

2. To really pore over the scriptures, making them personalized, by finding answers to the questions of my soul and write them on a study journal.

With this, I could lessen using the same scriptures over and over again, and asking the same questions again and again. It’s true, The gospel of Jesus Christ is really a fountain of knowledge that never runs dry.

About the work, it has been good! We have an awesome investigator who reads and ponders the book of mormon and always have a list of questions with him every appointment. He goes to church.. but now we’re working on WOW problems which, he said, he is willing to give up. This investigator was first taught by my batch Elder Navarro and his anak Elder Claudio. But since his house is within our area, the elders referred him to us. :)

I had my first exchanges! And it has been great! Sister Villa is an awesome missionary. She got the teaching skills, she knows how to BRT to every teaching appointment we had even though she just met them for the first time, she has positive attitude which makes her develop skills so quick!

Sister Ethington is an amazing missionary! I admire her so much even before we had exchanges! I have never known a missionary learn the TAGALOG language so fast as she is! She speaks tagalong like she has studied it for the rest of her life.

Hey I'm back!

I love being a missionary!

My first companion exchanges.

For Sister Maroket's birthday!!!!

Exchanges with Penablanca Sisters!

Zone CSP

I want to be really really honest, with you and to myself. I had not been feeling well for the past weeks, especially during my last week in Alinguigan. I thought it was just because I stayed in my first area for 9 months and so I thought I was just anxious for a change. But when I got transferred, nothing really change.

Moroni was right when he said that on the judgment day "he that is happy shall be happy still; and he that is unhappy shall be unhappy still". One cannot say that in the judgment day, when we will see Christ in the flesh, we will become a "new person" or in other words "become better" than when we were while living on earth.

The same with missionary life. The problem is not in what's happening around us. It's just within us.

For the past weeks, I was trying to fight all the negative feelings I have inside, doing some positive thinking that "all is well" until Sunday, I finally bursted into tears.

I am at this point that I feel like a new missionary again. Overwhelmed with a new area, and my new calling.

Forgive me for this letter. I am sorry.

Hello Tuguegarao!

Soooooo your email made me cry. I love you Papang, Mamang, Elaine, Mary Flor, and Lowla... The past two weeks have been hard for me. I do not know why, maybe because I stayed too long in my first area, and then exicted but anxious for a change.

Tuesday, last day in my area.. I was silent for most of the time of the day. I felt sorry for my anak, kasi she has to deal with a "nagmamaktol na nanay"... I am grateful for Sister Maroket.. She has always been patient and loving to me. She loves me unconditionally.

I visited some of the people I have loved in my area. And guess what, Nanay Ramel,,, (one of the active nanays in the ward who feeds us always and every time we pass by their house) gave me and my companion 500 pesos because she had the feeling that we have no money left. Embarrassing it was, but we accepted it, because we ran out of money na talaga.. Hahaha. So grateful!

And then I was about to teach and visit Genalyn Mateo.. one of our recent converts.. but she was not there. And then, her Tatay said "Sabi ko na nga ba sa kanya dadaan kayo sister".. then he asked their bunsong anak to get the more than a kilo of avocado they picked from their tree, and gave it to me! It melted my heart so much. I want to see them again after my mission. They are humble and generous family. :) I love them with all my heart.

And.. my last visit to the Morales Family. I do not know how to tell you how it went. But I've never seen Nanay Virigina and the Morales children cried so hard as they did that night. They are special to my heart.

I am now in Tuguegarao 2nd ward.. My companion is Sister Elivera. She's my housemate for 3 cycles in my first area so we've known each other before.. She's training me. Because I am newly called as Sister Training Leader of two zones (Tugue South and Tugue North)... Excited and anxious and excited.

This coming wednesday, we'll be having New Leaders Training .. so I am excited to receive another training from our beloved mission president.

I am fat. And ugly. But I will do my best to look prettier (and ahem) more beautiful when I get home. Wahahah.

Love and prayers,

Sister Acosta

Getting transferred... after 9 months. Haha!

So… We’ve already received the transfer list. And I do not know what I am feeling right now. It's like, I am sad and happy. Sad and grateful. Sad and excited. Don't know how to describe that, but I feel peace.

I'm sad to leave those I have learned to love with all my heart, but I am happy because I know I've loved them with all my heart. And that's okay, because I'm going to take my heart with me... and they will always be in my dum dudum-dumdumdumdum dum heart.

I'm sad I will not be able to attend Jeraldine's baptism on Saturday, but I am grateful she will be baptized, with or without me. I will never forget how Sister Maroket and I were led to their house at the very last hour of our "all-punted day".

I'm sad I will not be with Sister Maroket 24 hours by Wednesday, but I am excited to leave her for each of us needs growth. We've been so much comfortable with each other, so I am excited to expand our own comfort zones. She's kind, loving, humble, and teachable. 

Before I thought she was ideal. But I was wrong. She's not ideal. She's perfect!!!

Nanay Virginia (wife of Tatay George) who goes to church but never committed to baptismal date.. the less-actives who loves to be visited and taught but not been consistent in attending church. The recent converts, the members, everyone in this area... will be in good and tender hands of Sister Maroket.

Looking back, and looking forward. Can't believe I feel so much peace.

Looking back, and looking forward. I soooooo love being a missionary!