So this has been a wonderful fully-loaded week! Transfer day was good, and we were able to work just on time. The day before transfers, I was able to work with Sister Clarin in our area. We had 10 lessons and 13 contacts that day. But more than that, I have learned more than what I expected in that day with her.
About my personal study of the Book of Mormon, I am learning so much. Sister Hamblin taught me a new way to study this inspired book. She told me that Elder Bednar told them once in his visit to their stake, that Elder Bednar keeps a bookshelf filled with inexpensive book of mormons that he has used. He studies 1 book of mormon in his quest to answer 1 question all throught out! Sister Hamblin is about to finish reading the book of mormon with a question “How to be truly converted to the Lord?”. And this week, I started reading the book of mormon again, with a question: “How to stop worrying?” and I ought to finish this before my mission ends.
I know my question is shallow, but I need to find answers seriously, because in the course of my 20-plus years I have managed to worry about almost everything.
I had misunderstood the Lord’s doctrine of “we are saved AFTER-ALL-WE-CAN-DO”.
I had been worried, terrified, and worried, and afraid, and worried because I had thought that I needed to achieve some minimum level of capacity and goodness before God will help me.
I have learned, just this cycle that divine aid can be ours every hour of every day, no matter where we are in the path of obedience.
And brother Cristofer who has just been baptized last saturday and confirmed in his priesthood attire yesterday is one of the evidences of that. Jenelyn who just received an answer to her prayers, is the evidence of that.
Last cycle, I thought He has already abandoned me. I felt far far away from him. Just now, I realized that I was just like the man in the poem “Footprints in the Sand”. I thought He has left me all alone. But the truth is, He was just carrying me all the way through. Because I needed to learn something, and I am weak, and I cannot do this alone.
I am learning so much in my mission. My heart is full. It’s going to burst. I love being a missionary!