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I can't believe how much time has gone past. In my first cycle as a missionary, one of my housemates, Sister Davis, randomly told me "I hope I could see you how you end your mission."

I cannot forget that. That experience is still vivid in my memory. Now that I'm heading to my last cycle as a missionary. How do I end it? I do not know. I just hope and pray that He would give me more holiness, just as what Hymn 131 says. My favorite line in that hymn is "More used would I be". I hope and pray that I would be more used, even if I would now be released in the calling as an STL. I hope and pray to be more like our Savior, who endured well,  never shrank, and pressed sublimely towards the completion of His mission.

Santiago 2nd ward will be forever in my heart. In the short three months I spent in this wonderful area, I was able to see a lot of miracles. First, I met Bishop Acosta and his family. Second, Sister Ethington became my companion. Third, Nanay and Tatay Quintos got baptized.

I can never forget how Nanay and Tatay got fully immersed in the waters of baptism last Saturday. I can never forget Tatay and Nanay's countenance shine as they were sitting in the sacrament hall yesterday, wearing their Sundays best. Tatay was so handsome with his white polo and a tie. Quintos family is just one of the most beautiful people in the world. I love them, with all my heart, and soul.

I love being a missionary!

I am going to miss praying with Tatay Rola.

The very first time I baked a cake! (Does it look like a cake?)

This will be for my anak, Sister Maroket :)

      

Quintos Couple :)

Quintos' confirmation Sunday :)

Try Again

So Nanay and Tatay Quintos both passed the baptismal interviews. Aside from having Sister Maroket as my "anak" in the mission field, having the Quintos couple get baptized next Saturday would be one of Heavenly Father's biggest gifts and miracles I have in the field. Rhodalyn, their youngest daughter even returned yesterday and volunteered to work with us missionaries. I hope and pray she would serve full-time mission too, and get sealed in the temple with her parents, soon. Just picturing out it in my mind gives me the purest joy.

I think the lesson I learned this week is to always get up each and every time I fall. My LTP last week was all about, well, my failures. I really liked our specialized training with President and Sister Rahlf this week. President Rahlf shared about Thomas Edison, and how he was able to invent the light bulbs after a thousand of failures.

Sometimes, we people stop trying again after we experienced a failure. This is best illustrated by Elder Bowen's object lesson of "baby flies". We are sometimes like the baby flies who will just jump just beneath the lid, over and over again, not reaching any higher than that. Some of us never reach our divinest potentials because we won't ever try again... once we experience a failure. We get hurt and embarrassed, and will never dare to try again.

I am grateful for the knowledge about the gospel, which teaches us to get up each time we fall. President Rahlf said: "The Lord loves it when we start over and try again. The whole plan of salvation is based on trying again after we fail."

While traveling through the Banaue roads this morning, I was thinking why did the Lord had me serve in my first area for 9 months, and an STL for another 9 months? And do you know what answer I received? 

Because He wanted me to learn something, and I couldn't get it ... only until after 9 months.

It was the funniest answer ever. I laughed and said a silent prayer: "Thank you, Heavenly Father for being really patient with me." And I almost cried when I said "Sorry, for the times I had failed Thee." ... 

"But yes, thank you for giving me your Son.. I can start over and try again."

I am just so grateful for these wonderful experiences I have as a missionary. I love EVERYTHING -- the ups and downs, and of course everything in between.

I love being a missionary!

Exchanges with the sweetest Sister Wiri!

Eye Single

This week was a roller coaster ride. I had been sick for few days. I think I have pneumonia. But the area doctor gave me some prescriptions so nothing to worry about.

I had exchanges with Sister Arganosa this week (this is our 3rd time on exchanges!! Haha) Skills-wise, she is amazing!! Had exchanges with Sister Sutherby as well.This was our 4th exchanges aside from our 2 exchanges we had in Ilagan). After having exchanges with them for many times, we became best friends. Haha.

Aside from these things, I think the major lesson I have learned this week is overcoming pride. I think it is okay to share with you my experience this week that taught me a principle. A principle that I hope I would forever live as a disciple of Jesus Christ.

So this week, Bishop assigned me to be the speaker at the funeral service of Bishop Castelo. I said okay, even though deep inside I didn't want to. Lest I be misunderstood, I know that as a missionary, it is expected that I will be asked to give some speaking assignments whether I like it or I like it. And somehow I managed to struggle through a few speaking assignments as a missionary, and as an STL (oh my gosh), and dodged all the rest.

Long story short, I went to the funeral service, and tried to convince myself I was prepared. But all the faith and hope and optimism I had, vanished away  when I saw all the people of the baranggay buenavista including the Mayor and Vice Mayor of Santiago City and other politicians were present at the funeral service. I wanted to cry.

Long story short. I gave a talk. And I was more discouraged than ever. I didn't know what I really said that time. All I remember was that I shared a scripture verse, and that I was just rumbling words.

I was not teaching people. Not even teaching a lesson. I was just there, "talking to myself" in front of many people.

In my 16 months as a missionary, and a few months of being an STL (oh my gosh), I have often asked the Lord and myself every time I felt something was wrong in what I did. And yesterday, Sister Rahlf gave a talk and I felt that she was speaking to me directly, in behalf of the Lord to answer my question"what went wrong?"

I realized that I was afraid of doing things, primarily  because I was too concerned about what other people would think of me. It was a matter of vanity and pride and ego. I have learned that my fears and self-consciousness could be conquered if my "eyes be single to His glory" Just like what Elder Bednar always saying ... "get out of the way" so He can perform His sacred function and work.

I hope and pray, that I will never ever forget this experience to always remind myself to simulaneouly "get out of the way". And never,ever, ever do anything... as in anything ... that would draw attention to myself.

Never again.

D&C 88:67: “If your eye be single to my glory, your whole bodies shall be filled with light, and there shall be no darkness in you; and that body which is filled with light comprehendeth all things.”

Quintos gave us merienda :)

This is what we looked like when we sang in the stake conference.

Fears

One of the talks my companion and I are seriously studying this week is "Becoming A Consecrated Missionary". As I was pondering about this talk, I asked the Lord "what lack I yet" to become more  consecrated. To become consecrated, I need to put on to the altar of sacrifice my fears. I told my companion yesterday, that because of my experiences in the past, I have already developed the courage to talk to everyone -- I could press the doorbell of the biggest house on the earth and share the beautiful message that we have. I said, I have no fear.

But today, I realized that leaving our fears on the altar of sacrifice isn't just all about talking to everyone. I realized that it also means giving an accurate correction when it is necessary. I am still learning the art of understanding others and being understood. Much of the time, I just think and think and try to understand others yet I have no courage to say what I feel. Just like what it is said in the talk, "Sometimes we have missionaries who are so worried about offending people that in the process they never ever save them."

This week, Stefanie was baptized and confirmed. Right after she came out of the waters of baptism, we told her she was the cleanest person at that time.. And with a light in her eyes and and a smile on her face, she asked "Really Sister? Really? I love the feeling. I feel great." I love Sister Stef so much and I am grateful to be a small part of this great redemptive work.

Tatay Cuyajon, Felix Family, and Rodalyn came to church yesterday! They are the members who became less-actives because they were offended. I am grateful to see the light in their eyes and the smile on their faces because of being able to forgive others who might have offended them.

I hope and pray that I could become more of a consecrated person -- someone who is humble enough to ask others how can I be better, and someone who loves other people enough to offer correction when needed.

I am learning so much from my mission. I love being a missionary!

Sister Stef was baptized by her bestfriend. They looked good together in white.

My companion and I hope to see them "together in white, again". Maybe in the temple?

Of course after finishing their own missions. :)