Lunes, Marso 14, 2016

Eye Single

This week was a roller coaster ride. I had been sick for few days. I think I have pneumonia. But the area doctor gave me some prescriptions so nothing to worry about.

I had exchanges with Sister Arganosa this week (this is our 3rd time on exchanges!! Haha) Skills-wise, she is amazing!! Had exchanges with Sister Sutherby as well.This was our 4th exchanges aside from our 2 exchanges we had in Ilagan). After having exchanges with them for many times, we became best friends. Haha.

Aside from these things, I think the major lesson I have learned this week is overcoming pride. I think it is okay to share with you my experience this week that taught me a principle. A principle that I hope I would forever live as a disciple of Jesus Christ.

So this week, Bishop assigned me to be the speaker at the funeral service of Bishop Castelo. I said okay, even though deep inside I didn't want to. Lest I be misunderstood, I know that as a missionary, it is expected that I will be asked to give some speaking assignments whether I like it or I like it. And somehow I managed to struggle through a few speaking assignments as a missionary, and as an STL (oh my gosh), and dodged all the rest.

Long story short, I went to the funeral service, and tried to convince myself I was prepared. But all the faith and hope and optimism I had, vanished away  when I saw all the people of the baranggay buenavista including the Mayor and Vice Mayor of Santiago City and other politicians were present at the funeral service. I wanted to cry.

Long story short. I gave a talk. And I was more discouraged than ever. I didn't know what I really said that time. All I remember was that I shared a scripture verse, and that I was just rumbling words.

I was not teaching people. Not even teaching a lesson. I was just there, "talking to myself" in front of many people.

In my 16 months as a missionary, and a few months of being an STL (oh my gosh), I have often asked the Lord and myself every time I felt something was wrong in what I did. And yesterday, Sister Rahlf gave a talk and I felt that she was speaking to me directly, in behalf of the Lord to answer my question"what went wrong?"

I realized that I was afraid of doing things, primarily  because I was too concerned about what other people would think of me. It was a matter of vanity and pride and ego. I have learned that my fears and self-consciousness could be conquered if my "eyes be single to His glory" Just like what Elder Bednar always saying ... "get out of the way" so He can perform His sacred function and work.

I hope and pray, that I will never ever forget this experience to always remind myself to simulaneouly "get out of the way". And never,ever, ever do anything... as in anything ... that would draw attention to myself.

Never again.

D&C 88:67: “If your eye be single to my glory, your whole bodies shall be filled with light, and there shall be no darkness in you; and that body which is filled with light comprehendeth all things.”

Quintos gave us merienda :)

This is what we looked like when we sang in the stake conference.

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