I want to be really really honest, with you and to myself. I had not been feeling well for the past weeks, especially during my last week in Alinguigan. I thought it was just because I stayed in my first area for 9 months and so I thought I was just anxious for a change. But when I got transferred, nothing really change.

Moroni was right when he said that on the judgment day "he that is happy shall be happy still; and he that is unhappy shall be unhappy still". One cannot say that in the judgment day, when we will see Christ in the flesh, we will become a "new person" or in other words "become better" than when we were while living on earth.

The same with missionary life. The problem is not in what's happening around us. It's just within us.

For the past weeks, I was trying to fight all the negative feelings I have inside, doing some positive thinking that "all is well" until Sunday, I finally bursted into tears.

I am at this point that I feel like a new missionary again. Overwhelmed with a new area, and my new calling.

Forgive me for this letter. I am sorry.